Team Seven Plays Mau
by Kitsu3
Summary: Mau is a card game. However, part of the rules is that you aren't allowed to know the rules. Team seven's mission for the day: to play Mau. If you don't know how to play, that's OK, you'll learn by reading this.


The Naruto Characters Play Mau

Kitsu3: Muahahahahaha!!!! For those of you who don't know why I'm laughing evilly, you're about to find out. Mau is the most fun card game in the universe. Do not argue. I also think my friends just may agree with me! (We stayed up till seven in the morning playing it during a sleepover. Needless to say, none of us got any sleep.) I wonder how Kakashi found out about it....

Chapter 1

Teaching the Genin

**5:00 a.m.**

"Damn! I lost again!" groaned Kakashi as he threw down his cards. Kurenai smiled.

"And this is the fifth time in a row that I've won!"

"Don't rub it in." growled Asuma. "Oh, look at the time. We'd better get to our teams."

The three jounins had been playing Mau since nine the previous night.

"My team can wait a couple more hours. I guess I should go to the bookstore and get the latest Icha Icha Paradise novel, I heard it came out yesterday." said Kakashi.

The others looked at him like he was crazy.

"Well, see you later, then." replied Kurenai. Kakashi picked up the cards, and all three disappeared in smoke.

**9:00 a.m.**

Kakashi walked forward to greet his team while reading the latest Icha Icha Paradise.

"Good morning!" he greeted them. "I got hit by a car while crossing the street and everybody thought I was dead so they buried me and I had to wait through the funeral service and then dig myself out of my grave."

"LIAR!" yelled Naruto and Sakura. Sasuke just looked annoyed.

"Anyway, today's training will be very intensive, so prepare yourselves."

"Is it a hard mission?" asked Naruto excitedly. Kakashi ignored him.

"Today we will be..." he gave a pause for dramatic effect and took the time to study the faces of his students. Naruto, big surprise, looked excited, Sakura looked interested, and Sasuke had...his normal expression. "Playing cards." he finished.

Naruto took a moment for this information to sink in. "Playing...cards?" he finally took the full impact of the words. "Kakashi-sensei! How is this supposed to help our ninja skills?" he complained.

"You won't be playing just any card game replied Kakashi calmly. "You'll be playing Mau. It will help you in the areas of deciphering codes and logic." Inside he was laughing.

'_I may have lost all night to Kurenai and Asuma, but I can't lose to beginners._' he thought gleefully.

"Huh? Mau?" Naruto asked, surprised. "How do you play that?"

"Sit down and let me explain." said Kakashi, motioning for them to have a seat. The genin team sat down, Sakura looking like she had been cheated of something and Sasuke with a why-do-I-have-to-put-up-with-this look.

"Do you know how to play Uno?" All three gave a mute nod.

(IF YOU KNOW HOW TO PLAY UNO, SKIP THE BOLDED SECTION!!! YOU NEED TO KNOW HOW TO PLAY TO UNDERSTAND THE BASICS OF THE GAME!!!!)

**How to play Uno:**

**Object: To get rid of all your cards**

**Play: Players take turns putting cards from their hands on the discard pile. If you can't play, you draw a card from the deck. **

**You can put a card of one suit on top of a card of the same suit. (e.g. A diamond on a diamond.) **

**You can put a card with one number on top of a card of the same number. This changes the suit to whatever the suit of the played card. (e.g. An eight (hearts) on another eight (diamonds). The suit is now hearts.)**

**There's more to it but for Mau this is basically all you need to know.**

"This game is based on Uno, so the basics are the same." Kakashi told them. "However, there are added rules that you don't know. That's all I can tell you. Good luck." He began dealing out the cards. He finished in about three seconds, having dealt everyone seven cards.

"That sounds creepy." Naruto commented, picking up his cards. Sakura and Sasuke followed the suit. Kakashi dealt them all an extra card.

"Looking at cards before play begins." he told each of them. Sasuke frowned and put his cards down. Naruto and Sakura did the same, their expressions the same as his.

Kakashi flipped over a card. It was the three of diamonds. "Play will begin three to the the dealer's left. That's you, Sasuke." he said. "Play may now begin." They all picked up their cards.

Sasuke put down a four of diamonds. Kakashi dealt him a card.

"Failure to give a truly barbaric 'Yalp!'." Kakashi told him. Sasuke glared at him. Naruto burst into laughter.

"Hahaha, Sasuke got a ca-ard, Sasuke got a ca-ard!" he taunted. Kakashi dealt him a card.

"Laughing at another's misfortune."

Naruto shut up.

"What was that, dobe?" asked Sasuke with a smirk.

Kakashi dealt Naruto another card. "...and talking." He dealt Sasuke a card. "Talking."

"But Kakashi-sensei...." Naruto began. Kakashi dealt him another card.

"_Talking_." he said firmly. Finally, there was silence.

Kakashi played a seven of diamonds. "Have a nice day." he told Naruto while handing him a card from the top of the deck.

"What the hell? I didn't do anything this time!" exclaimed Naruto. Kakashi dealt him another card.

"Talking." he said.

Naruto grumbled as he played the king of diamonds. Kakashi dealt him a card.

"Failure to say 'all hail chairman Mau'." Kakashi told him. Naruto looked ready to kill. Sakura played the king of clubs.

"All hail...chairman Mau?" she said hesitantly. Sasuke played the five of clubs. Kakashi then played the two of clubs. Naruto played the nine of clubs. Kakashi handed Naruto back his card and gave him another card from the top of the deck.

"Playing out of turn." said Kakashi calmly.

"What?! But I didn't...!" He was cut off as Kakashi interjected a "talking," and handed him another card. Kakashi then proceeded to tap his fingers, slowly, five times on the floor. He then handed a card to Sasuke.

"Failure to play within five seconds." said Kakashi. Sasuke looked ready to kill him. He then played the seven of clubs. Kakashi handed him a card.

"Failure to say 'have a nice day'." He was handed another card. "Failure to pass a card to the next player." Sasuke looked like he was ready to kill not only Kakashi but anything that dared to come near him.

Sakura played the queen of clubs. "All hail chair_woman_ Mau?" she asked. Kakashi dealt her a card.

"Failure to say 'all hail lady Mau'." he said as he dealt her another card, "and talking." 

FINAL SCORE FOR THE CHAPTER 

Naruto: 14 cards  
Sasuke: 10 cards  
Sakura: 9 cards  
Kakashi: 5 cards 

Kitsu3: Heheh! That was fun! . now I gotta go! I know I'm having fun, and review, even if only to tell me that it sucked. On this one I really don't care. Ja ne!


End file.
